Hey Reader,

I've been dreaming of creating lasting value, but I've retreated from the world by moving to remote places in the Arctic and Madeira. I envisioned starting my own family and living a self-sufficient life. In my early twenties, I've been renouncing the world rather than engaging with it. Why do I choose solitude in remote places over vibrant cities?

Finding Stillness

Since arriving in Switzerland last Saturday, I've felt a growing sense of calmness. My mind isn't constantly pacing to some distant place as it used to. I'm enjoying the fresh mountain air, the sunny weather, and the beautiful scenery awakening to spring.

A New Vision

Instead of fantasizing about moving to California or New Zealand, I've found myself repeatedly visualizing life in Zurich. What's different is that I don't view it through the same romantic lens I applied to the Norwegian Arctic or Madeira before moving there. What appeals to me now is the realness of this scenario: a place that ticks many of my boxes and where I can easily move to.

The Search for Connection

My hopes of finding community through ambitious programs across the world haven't materialized yet. I've received one rejection from V10, been waitlisted by the residency, and am still waiting for responses from Edge Esmeralda and the Network School.

For now, I'm sitting longer with my ideas before making decisions. I've just begun exploring possibilities after shedding my old identity and vision from my ending relationship.

Understanding the Root

I realize now that I've been choosing remote places and isolation because of shame. I don't feel valuable, and I retreat due to fear of judgment and rejection. By doing so, I protect myself from potential pain, but also nourish the very narrative I'm trying to break. I've become hyper self-reliant because I fear I don't matter. Yet in isolation, I simply give my inner critic an unopposed platform to keep nagging and tearing me down, preventing me from seeing my own value.

The Path Forward

My mission now is to understand where this dynamic originates and then change my narrative toward a story that drives me forward rather than away.

Reflection: Where are you feeding your inner critic to be seen of value rather than actually being valuable?

Thanks for reading and until next week,

Jesse